in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize