Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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