I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize