i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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