i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
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he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
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I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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