I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
is it fun? or sober?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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