pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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