We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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