My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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