Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Randomize
Follow @tfln