No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize