you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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