Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
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Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
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You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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