Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
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He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
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One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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