I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize