I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize