The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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