She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize