i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
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you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
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Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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