That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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