dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
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just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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