I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize