his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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