Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize