Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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