Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize