I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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