i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize