Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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