I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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