"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
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Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
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Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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