The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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