once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
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Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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