Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize