allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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