Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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