then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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