my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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