You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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