ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
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Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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