i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize