why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize