i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize