I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize