Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize