Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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