i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
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i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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