whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize