forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
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