Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize